My morning distraction!

The one thing in life that we never have enough of…and never know how much we have left of in life…is time.

How we choose to use our time tells us where our genuine, heartfelt priorities are in life.

As we go through life we choose to allocate time differently. At one stage in our life we spend more time at work. Or going out. Or traveling.

But for me now, when I go to work is usually based on one question.

And that one question is: “When is my son Jack done playing with me and/or having me around?”

Because when he is done with me, then I know I can start my work day…for up until then it is Jack Time.

For I go to work when Jack “tells” me I can. Or when he is simply done playing with me.

No sooner. No later.

This morning I was leaving for work when he wanted to “throw the ball” with me.

So I stayed. And threw the ball with him.

Then Jack wanted to play “truck” with me.

So I stayed. And played “truck” with him.

Then he wanted to play “basketball” with me.

So I stayed. And we “played” basketball.

I want my son to know that time is the gift we often want and need from family and friends.

And that the best gift to give and receive is often the gift we all can give. Time.

Tonight my family is going to Tot Shabbat services to honor our family, our community and the sabbath.

And in this way we also choose time as the gift to give ourselves.

What gift do you give your loved ones?

How do you spend your time?

And what is the time that you give to yourself?

I wish you all a wonderful weekend.

        

“You don’t need everything that you have. You be kind and giving to others even if you have to give up what you’re using yourself. Just give, give, give and you’ll be very happy in life.”

Sister Malachy’s story begins the chapter on “Giving” in What I Know, a topic that so perfectly matched this selfless woman.  Born in 1906 during the potato famine in Ireland, Sister Malachy knew the harsh reality of going without food.  But her mother taught her the importance of sharing, a lesson that Sister Malachy lived every day of her life.

When I met with Sister Malachy, I was immediately struck by her selfless nature.  She was the most giving and kind person I had ever met.  Her endurance through her own struggles, and her passion for serving others gave hope to so many throughout her lifetime.

“If you have two cookies, you give one of those away.”

Remembering this benevolent woman has inspired me to notice the small actions I can do each day to help others, and to take action when I see an opportunity to help.

What actions can you take daily, to share and be kind to those in your life?

        

I am off to Tanzania and Rwanda.

Why?

To hear silence. To hear my heart. To hear life as it was and as is. Silent. Soaring. And spiritual.

On a previous safari in Botswana

In America, we are always on, always available. Blackberries. iPhones. Netbooks. Broadband. 4G.

Media and marketing are everywhere. The noise and din of the message is clear.

“Buy. Buy. Buy. More. More. More. And life will be better.”

In Africa, one can hear silence. And one can hear the message of their own heart.

In Africa, you hear the rhythm, harmony and balance of nature.

In Africa, you hear your heart beat and feel your soul soar. You hear the beauty of life in its all its colors and shapes and sounds.

Getting a little too close

You hear beauty and power in the lion’s roar. The gorilla’s grunt. The elephant’s call.

Their calls stir and shake your heart into a profoundly new and heightened state.

A quick fight breaks out

I often sit in silence and just watch these animals for hours. And listen.

And I hear the harmony of nature. As it was. As it is.

And I can then more clearly hear my heart.

Inspiration for What I Know's book cover!

How do you hear your heart…listen to your dreams…take care of your soul?

Please share your stories of how you hear your heart.

And thank you for taking the time to hear my story.

My son Jack's own safari

*I am leaving for Africa today for two weeks.

        

Unexpectedly. Accidentally. Almost inexplicably.

And it terrified me. I realized, as I sat in the hospital night after night, I was not ready to lose my hero.

My mother and my son

She recently moved from Boston to Los Angeles at the age of 80 to be near her 2-year-old grandson, her daughter-in-law, and her son. That would be me.

My mother and I had not lived near each other since I left home over 30 years ago. And I missed her. And all her right wing beliefs, her crazy like a fox insights and comments. And her presence.

Now we each had a second chance to be together. And for me, a chance to help her live a wonderful life, and to be part of her life on a regular basis.

Then disaster kicked in.

Her life long back pain became ruthless and virtually debilitating.

She chose surgery. But really, she had no choice.

Due to a mistake during a surgery, another, corrective, surgery was required only two months later. It was needed to heal her constant agony and shooting pain.

How maddening that this could and did happen.

Moments like these - my second chances.

Her second, corrective, surgery appears to have worked. Yet, through a series of issues from pain medicines and an infection, her health spun out of control. My mom appeared to be on the edge of death.  She could only lay in bed, with no positive indictors but her vital signs.

Did she have a stroke? Was she dying from something else?

She couldn’t talk and often couldn’t respond.

I was in shock. I was frightened. And I was not willing to let her go. So, along with my sister, we shared shifts around the clock so that our mother would have a family advocate. A constant voice amidst the many doctors and nurses in and out of her hospital room.

The nurses and doctors were great. But my mom was not.

Playdoh time for Grandma and Jack

But now she is home, with our constant care and love. And she appears to be on the long term mend.

Hopefully, we will have a second chance at our second chance to be together.

Life can be full of second chances.

We just need to fight for it sometimes.

Create it.

And let it happen.

Jack showing Grandma this century's toys

I am lucky to have my mom still with us, and I will do everything to make this second chance be as good as the first second chance was meant to be.

Please let me know what second chances in life you have had and how they have impacted you.

And thank you for reading this story.

        

On the 11th day of every month we celebrate our son Jack’s birthday.

Our celebration is simple, and practically free.  A birthday card… ok… sometimes many cards, a happy birthday song… and a lot of hugs and kisses. Though I must admit, he already gets a lot of hugs and kisses and I love yous every single day.

My son, Jack

So why do we celebrate our son’s birthday every month?

It is simple:

Life is precious. And in life, we often celebrate only the big events or major successes. But in waiting for the next big thing, we often miss the most important moments and gifts that are right in front of us.

To my wife and I, that gift is our son – his life, growth, and good health.

Taking the time to honor this helps us to appreciate what we have now. It reminds us to savor the moment because every little moment will add up to write the story of our lives.

Like father, like son

What are the little moments that you savor?

        

Then I realized something. I had forgotten to send what I thought was an important email to a client. So I discreetly picked up my blackberry in my right hand and kept it hidden from my son and proceeded to type an email one finger and one letter at a time.

I was not even 9 letters into the email when I heard my son jack say clearly and loudly “No Daddy No. No. No blackberry”.

And he was right. My one year old son was giving me a life lesson reminder.

The lesson was simple. Pay attention to my son. And make him the priority when we are together. Treasure every moment. For the moments are precious and few and they speed by while we wander through life.

Pay attention to our loved ones. For they will always be there for us. And work can sometimes and often just simply wait.

        

It is with great sadness that I note the passing of Ruth Proskauer Smith.  Ruth was an unforgettable and inspiring 100 year old who I was lucky to meet while writing, “What I Know.”  Ruth truly lived a truly remarkable life…and that is an understatement.

I met Ruth at her apartment in New York shortly after her hundredth birthday.  She immediately stood out.  Ruth lived like someone who was only a fraction of her age. She lived alone, rode the bus daily, and continued to take courses on law and the Supreme Court.

Ruth embodied the spirit of self-determination.  And she relentlessly advocated for choice and the power of self in all aspects of life.  Born to the legendary attorney, Judge Joseph Proskauer, Ruth came of age with a role model of epic proportions.  Her father had a hand in shaping President Roosevelt’s New Deal.  Ruth learned early on that she had a voice and that she could influence policy and behavior.

Ruth’s legacy will live on.  Her political work leaves a lasting mark.  And I hope her story will offer an inspiring reminder in the power of personal choice and self-determination.

Today I find myself considering what personal choice means to me and how I put those beliefs to work in my own life.  As you read Ruth’s story, I’d love to hear what “choice” in life means to you.

“I had a degree of access because of my father, but I am proud that I chose to work in the way that was most meaningful to me.  I learned hands on that you always have a choice and can make an impact on the world.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/27/nyregion/27smith.html?partner=rss&emc=rss

        

So, whether you are setting your New Year’s Resolutions, or just looking forward into the future, here’s some advice from a few centenarians who have seen their fair share of new years.

You really have a free mind and you can always give yourself a new beginning. — Ben Berke

You never know where each turn in life is going to take you.  It takes some nerve to keep on persevering. — Bernie Nenner

Set goals and then set new goals at all stages of your life.  You can’t just sit back and say, ‘Been there, done that.’  Be open to new ideas and be willing to change. — Evelyn Bradac

        

This holiday season, I am so appreciative of all the wonderful people I have met on my journey, both in writing “What I Know,” and through the process of publication.

I am especially thankful for those who have helped to support my project online.  It has truly been amazing to see so many others enjoy the wisdoms shared in “What I Know”, and to hear that they laughed at the same quotes, understood the wisdom inherent in children and centenarians alike, and found that we are not all that different, despite age and location.

A huge thank you and Happy Holidays to everyone, and especially to the following supporters of “What I Know”:

http://www.reschoolyourself.com/interview-roger-fishman-author-of-what-i-know

http://www.reschoolyourself.com/interview-with-roger-fishman-part-two

http://cuteasabuggy.blogspot.com/2009/12/giveaway.html

http://mommayoung.com/2009/12/book-giveaway-what-i-know/

http://anotherchanceranch.typepad.com/another_chance_ranch/2009/12/a-book-review.html

http://www.chrisbrogan.com/three-inspirational-books/

http://www.selfhelpdaily.com/what-i-know-by-roger-emerson-fishman/

http://confessionsofamom.com/what-i-know/

http://bookworm-confessions.blogspot.com/2009/10/what-i-know-review-and-signed-book.html

http://myretirementadventures.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-i-know.html

http://www.santaspicks2009.com/2009/12/what-i-know-uncommon-wisdom-universal.html

http://www.southernmamas.com/?p=7421

http://www.morninglightmama.com/2009/10/need-some-wisdom-and-truths.html

http://parentingpink.com/2009/12/what-i-know-uncommon-wisdom-and-universal-truths-from-10-year-olds-and-100-year-olds/

http://annagainandagainreviews.blogspot.com/2009/12/what-i-know.html

Health and joy,

Roger

        

While writing “What I Know,” I heard from a wonderful group of children from Ms. Oswald’s fourth-grade class at Sugartown Elementary School in Pennsylvania. Some of the book’s most memorable quotes come from these students.

I was overjoyed to hear that since “What I Know” was published, a few wonderful events have happened to celebrate the Sugartown students:

- The students were recognized by their local School Board, and given a plaque of acknowledgement.

- The children were able to share their wisdom over the morning announcements during National Education Week.

- A local newspaper published an article featuring the children and the book project (http://tinyurl.com/SugartownElementaryWriters)

Some of the wonderful words of wisdom from the students of Sugartown Elementary:

“It’s not the size of the brain that really matters.  It’s the size of the heart that counts.”  -Austin B.

“If you are thinking about having a baby, you better start preparing now by collecting lots and lots of sleep.” - Basil M.

“You aint gonna live life for long, so decide to really live it!  Climb the Empire State Building, see the Pyramids, or even ride a whale!” - Evan F.

“When you have a slow start, it’s not the end of the world.  Just keep running hard and be strong and you might just hit the finish line in the top three.” - Hayley C.

Congratulations to the students of Sugartown Elementry!  This shows we can all learn from each other, no matter what our age difference.

What have you learned from someone from a different generation, whether older or younger?