My healthy, 80-year-old mother almost died.
Unexpectedly. Accidentally. Almost inexplicably.
And it terrified me. I realized, as I sat in the hospital night after night, I was not ready to lose my hero.
My mother and my son
She recently moved from Boston to Los Angeles at the age of 80 to be near her 2-year-old grandson, her daughter-in-law, and her son. That would be me.
My mother and I had not lived near each other since I left home over 30 years ago. And I missed her. And all her right wing beliefs, her crazy like a fox insights and comments. And her presence.
Now we each had a second chance to be together. And for me, a chance to help her live a wonderful life, and to be part of her life on a regular basis.
Then disaster kicked in.
Her life long back pain became ruthless and virtually debilitating.
She chose surgery. But really, she had no choice.
Due to a mistake during a surgery, another, corrective, surgery was required only two months later. It was needed to heal her constant agony and shooting pain.
How maddening that this could and did happen.
Moments like these - my second chances.
Her second, corrective, surgery appears to have worked. Yet, through a series of issues from pain medicines and an infection, her health spun out of control. My mom appeared to be on the edge of death. She could only lay in bed, with no positive indictors but her vital signs.
Did she have a stroke? Was she dying from something else?
She couldn’t talk and often couldn’t respond.
I was in shock. I was frightened. And I was not willing to let her go. So, along with my sister, we shared shifts around the clock so that our mother would have a family advocate. A constant voice amidst the many doctors and nurses in and out of her hospital room.
The nurses and doctors were great. But my mom was not.
Playdoh time for Grandma and Jack
But now she is home, with our constant care and love. And she appears to be on the long term mend.
Hopefully, we will have a second chance at our second chance to be together.
Life can be full of second chances.
We just need to fight for it sometimes.
Create it.
And let it happen.
Jack showing Grandma this century's toys
I am lucky to have my mom still with us, and I will do everything to make this second chance be as good as the first second chance was meant to be.
Please let me know what second chances in life you have had and how they have impacted you.
And thank you for reading this story.
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